This has been a pretty smooth pregnancy so far and I feel so lucky to have yet another good experience, because I know it's not easy for some. I haven't felt too terrible at any point- first trimester consisted of some blah days, but that has been the worst of it so far. I am starting to get a little bump and feel some thumps and taps in there! :) I still feel so honored to be carrying this baby and try to tell him/her about their cool parents every day.
We had our anatomy scan today at the maternal fetal medicine clinic- my OB refers all IVF patients to this clinic to have a higher level ultrasound. I was (am still) so annoyed that Zack and Kelly were unable to attend because of Covid-19 but that's a whole other topic. Luckily we were able to FaceTime so they could see the whole ultrasound! Everything looked perfect and I am so relieved and thankful! I'll go back in a few weeks to check baby's heart and I'm sure my glucose test will be on the calendar before too long too. Crossing my fingers so hard that visitor restrictions are relaxed soon so that Zack and Kelly can at least attend a few appointments and we don't have to worry about the hospital stay in October.
I have been asked a lot of questions in the last few months and wanted to compile a list of questions and answers, if nothing else for me to remember someday!
Q: What made you want to do this? Isn't it weird/scary/awkward?
A: Pregnancy has been easy for me and I know it's not easy for everyone. I felt grateful to have had 3 easy pregnancies resulting in 3 healthy babies and wanted to give someone else that opportunity too. It's only as awkward as you make it and no scarier than carrying my own baby! The weirdest part for me has been not being able to share all of the moments with Zack and Kelly the way that I wish I could.
Q: Is the baby related to you?
A: Nope, not even a little. Zack and Kelly had their own embryo.
Q: Will you have to take care of the baby after it's born?
A: No, I have no legal rights to the baby! Obviously I would be happy to help out however I can in the hospital, but I can't bring the baby home or claim it as my own (and I don't want to! I'm just the middle man here ;) )
Q: Do you have to breastfeed or pump?
A: If that's something that Zack and Kelly wanted me to do, I would, but I'm not required to.
Q: How does it all work? Did you know Zack and Kelly?
A: I think I have covered this pretty heavily, but we applied with a surrogacy agency that we liked and they took it from there. I filled out an extensive application (as did Zack and Kelly) and we all went through a psychological evaluation prior to being matched. The agency compared our information and personalities and matched us up- we didn't know each other beforehand. We both had to agree that we wanted to work with one another and then started the legal and medical process, starting with a contract and ending with a pregnancy!
Q: What does your husband/family think? Do your kids understand?
A: Initially, Kameron was unsure of the whole thing. I think he was mostly nervous for me to go through another pregnancy and have another c-section. After meeting the women at our agency and having our match meeting, I think he felt much more comfortable! My family has also been really supportive and I am so thankful for that- I have a huge team of cheerleaders behind me! As for my kids, I'm not totally sure if they understand. Beckett and Halston know that I have a baby in my belly, and Beckett knows it's not our baby but we are helping someone else have a baby. I think that's about as deep as their understanding goes.
Q: Will you be part of the baby's life at all?
A: Going into this, both parties kind of said that we will just let things happen. I'd love to see the baby grow up and keep in touch with the whole family, but I definitely understand that people drift as time goes on and some families want privacy. We will see, and I will be okay with whatever the future holds :)
Q: Don't you think it will be hard to give up the baby?/How can you let the baby go?/I could never give up a baby.
A: I'm sure I will have sad feelings at some point, but I don't think they'll outweigh the good feelings. I do love the newborn stage (have you ever smelled a newborn's little head?!) but I didn't go into this thinking that I'd be bringing a baby home. I have known from day 1 that this is not my baby and the thought of bringing this baby home has never even crossed my mind. I am ecstatic for Zack and Kelly to meet their baby and complete their family! It's much easier to wrap your head around the scenario when you remember that this isn't my baby :)
Always happy to answer more questions if you have them!
Pardon my instagram photo, I forgot to save it!
