it's happening!

It's been a little bit since my last update! Mostly because we spent a lot of time just waiting. As I mentioned earlier, my OB didn't want to clear me for another pregnancy until December (18 months between pregnancies) and we had to get a legal contract drawn up and signed before we could officially do anything.

But now! Now we have a whole timeline set up and it's just wild to me that it's finally happening. I started injections on Christmas and our transfer is tentatively scheduled for the end of January. I'll go in this week for a baseline ultrasound to make sure the current meds that I'm injecting are doing their job of shutting down my reproductive system, and then I'll start hormone replacement meds this weekend. A week before the transfer, I'll go in for another ultrasound to make sure things are looking good and comfy in there for the embryo. If it is (it will be!), we'll go in for the transfer 7 days later!

I was nervous about the shots initially, but since I had so much time to think about it, I had kind of just accepted them and moved on. And really, they're not bad at all! Yet, anyway. I use tiny insulin needles and do my own injections right now and it barely feels like a pin prick. Sometime in the next couple of weeks, I'll start another med that is injected with 1.5" needles, and I'm a little (lot) more nervous about that. Kameron will do those injections for me and I'm not jazzed about the thought of not being in control of them. He'll do fine. Right?

Send lots of good vibes for my body and the meds to work their magic!

the fertility clinic

Whew, it feels like this train is finally starting to move! It seems a little surreal- to go from talking about this to actually being just about to the point where we will actually start the medical process.

Today I had my final medical clearance at the fertility clinic that we will be using for the embryo transfer (and conveniently, the same clinic that our IPs used for their egg retreival). This is the final medical hurdle to check off the list before we start the cycle for the transfer! I was feeling a little nervous about this appointment because I knew there would be talk of how to give shots (and honestly, that is the thing I am most nervous about with this entire process).

The appointment was a 3 parter- a meeting with the gestational carrier coordinator, lab work, and a saline ultrasound to check out my uterus. If the word uterus makes you uncomfortable, you should leave now.

First up, our meeting with the GC coordinator for the clinic. This woman might just be the most organized person in the world. She makes a calendar for each gestational carrier detailing the med schedule (which changes like every 6 days) and keeps track of...everything, it seems like. And I'm over here writing down appointments in 4 different places so that hopefully I make it to the right place with the right kid at the right time. During this meeting we talked about the next steps, the timing of everything once we start the med cycle, and the shots. There are two different types of shots, so I got to practice one and Kameron learned about how to correctly give me the other (it's a bum shot, how nice).

Lab work; easy. A quick blood draw and pee in a cup.

The saline ultrasound was super weird. But kind of cool, because I could see everything on the screen in the room? Like a first trimester ultrasound (if you've had one to compare) but also they put some saline solution in your uterus to make it easier to look around. Science, man. Wow. It sounds like everything looked good and so now, we wait some more.

The next steps are to wait for bloodwork- after that comes back, the clinic will give the green light to our agency to start the legal work. From there, a contract will be drawn up for us and our IPs to sign. Once this has been signed by everyone, the agency will notify the clinic and then the GC coordinator will call me and Kelly and date the cycle! I'm looking forward to knowing when things will really start.

I feel so glad to have another box checked off of the to do list. It seems like this has taken forever, but I have no patience so the waiting has been hard (and good) for me. I try to keep myself in check by remembering how Kelly must feel and how it's probably harder for her to wait but also probably overwhelming that this is happening (and really starting to happen now). I am so grateful to have the opportunity to experience this and so freakin excited to help complete their family!

we officially have IPs!

We had our match meeting yesterday! I don't even know to properly explain what was/have been feeling for the past 24 hours. It was amazing and I feel so good about our intended parents.

I'll share a very little bit about our IPs. They are a straight couple that lives in our state- they have one child already, but for medical reasons, the intended mother cannot carry any more pregnancies. That's all I will share for the moment, because while I want to be really transparent about this process and what it's like to be a surrogate, I also want to respect their privacy and their journey through this. And because I won't be sharing their real names, I have named them Zack and Kelly for ease of mention during all of this :)

Let's rewind. Back when we went to Madison I didn't have a clear vision of who I wanted to carry for- I just want to help someone who needs it. I kind of envisioned being matched with a gay couple, and after our meetings, I said if I could cherry pick, I would pick an international gay couple. I was nervous about the relationship I might have with an intended mother who was using surrogacy as a last resort because her body wasn't on her side, whereas a gay couple is typically just excited that someone is willing to do this for them because they always knew they couldn't do it themselves (or so I'm told). I kept my application open though, because I wasn't set on carrying for a gay couple. When I got the call that we were matched I was a little caught off guard that we were matched with a straight couple (though in hindsight, I can see how this stacked up and should not have been surprised!). I want to stress that I was truly just caught off guard and in no way was I disappointed.

Unsurprisingly, our match seems pretty close to perfect- the women at our agency are really good at their jobs. I can only carry as a surrogate one time, since I have had 3 previous c-sections (this is a hard rule in the world of 3rd party reproduction), and our IPs only want one more child. I had been feeling sad/guilty that I wouldn't be able to do a sibling project for my IPs (before being matched) because I just assumed they wouldn't already have children, so it was such a relief to be put into this match where the only expectation/desire is one healthy baby.

For our meeting, we met at one of the agency's offices with two of the three founders of the agency and our IPs. We discussed why we were all there, what our opinions were on different aspects of the pregnancy, the timeline, and a lot of other things like the Spice Girls and the antics of toddlers. After our meeting, we went out to dinner just the 4 of us. It was a lot like what I imagine a blind date to be, but Kelly and I did end up sharing our dinner, so I guess you can say we are jumping right in. I  might even have her baby in the next year or so ;)

After leaving dinner, I emailed the agency to let them know that we wanted to move forward with the match, and this morning, they emailed back to let me know that they were on the way to drop off my file at the fertility clinic, because Zack and Kelly also wanted to move forward! Our timeline feels long but I'm sure it will move right along- the next step is for me to get a medical clearance from the fertility clinic that we are working with. We are all hoping that this will happen sometime this summer so that we can be on track to do an embryo transfer in December (the soonest my dr. will sign off on). Stay tuned! :)

A blog post isn't a blog post without a picture, right?  This is all I have from our  "meeting" even though this was pre-meeting. Spoiler alert: I went with the mules on the left. 

a match!

I got the phone call that I've been waiting for today! A potential match!

I've been thinking about this a lot in the last week. I finished nursing Briggs and I knew that was the last big step before being matched, and I also know that since my application has been in for a while, they have had a lot of time to think about who we would match well with. Let's see how many times I can say match in this blog post.

Last week, I emailed LeeAnn, my wonderful contact at our agency, and let her know that I was done nursing. I hoped that she would email back right away like "great, now here's your match!" but unsurprisingly, she didn't. Earlier this week, I thought to myself wouldn't it be weird and cool to get a match on Briggs's birthday? And then I kind of forgot about it because we have a lot going on this weekend. 

This morning, I made myself a list of things to do before Kameron got home so that we could celebrate our new 1 year old without having to worry about things that needed to be done. I took the big kids in for a haircut, went to Target, went to the grocery store, came home and made lunch, blah blah blah. I started to unload the dishwasher and my phone rang and the caller ID said Hope (thank you, past self, for putting their number in your phone so that you'd answer when they called). I started shaking immediately. 

I chatted with Mary and LeeAnn, 2/3 of the powers that be at Hope (our agency). They let me know that they had an exciting potential match for us and shared some details and asked what I thought. I told them to go ahead and pass on our info to the IPs because they sound great! I don't want to share much more than that yet, since our match is not official, and likely,  the IPs have not even received our information. But once it is official (and assuming they are okay with it), I'll be back to share more! 

For now, the IPs will receive all of our information- what we are looking for in our IPs and relationship, our beliefs, a letter that I wrote to them when I applied, and some background info on our family. They will let the agency know if they'd like to move forward or not, and if they do, we will schedule a match meeting to meet in person!

Keep your fingers crossed for us!

One year ago today-  happy birthday baby Briggs!

guess who's back, back again

Shady's back, tell a friend. Anybody?

Hey-o little neglected blog. Blogging isn't really a thing anymore, huh? But I've got some things I'd like to document so here we are! Since the last time I blogged in 2016 (haaaa), I had a baby girl and then another baby boy. Exciting times. But really, they are the bomb.com (do people still say that? I do.) and I am just busy all the frickin time now. Let's see...other mentionables: we lost Juneau to a sad and quickly progressing disease, we fostered 7 (?) dogs, adopted a new dog, and I started a new job. (And I've been working there for almost two years, so it's not really new anymore.) I'm sure there's more, but I kept three children, two dogs, and myself alive today, so that's all I've got at the moment.

And now we are like "we're done having kids" to everyone except I'm totally not done because I'm going to be a surrogate. You can call it a gestational carrier if you want. Either way, I'm trying to have a baby for someone else. And that's what I came back to this sweet little blog to document. If someone on the internet isn't curious, I at least want to be able to come back in 5 years and remember all of this.

Let's start at the beginning. After our second baby, we weren't sure if we were done or not. We had a boy and a girl and we were kinda like...this could be it? But I hadn't really thought that would be my last pregnancy, so I didn't really have that closure in my mind. That was when I first thought that maybe I would want to carry a baby for someone else. But then we ended up having a sweet little caboose of a dude and good thing, because he's awesome.

In January of this year, when caboose baby was 7 months old, I thought about surrogacy again. This time, I researched some agencies and requested some info from one that I thought looked particularly nice. A few days later, I got to chat with one of the owners of the agency on the phone, and the next day I submitted my application and paperwork. If there's one thing that I've learned about myself, it's that once I get an idea in mind, I either need to squash it completely or see it through immediately.

I'll pause here to mention how bananas this whole process is. In a good way. I filled out a giant profile about who I would be willing to carry for- I could specify anything. Things I had never even thought of before. In case you were wondering, I said I'm willing to carry for pretty much anyone, as long as they're not assholes (more or less). I also had to submit all of my medical records and hospital records, an application with my information, Kameron's information, and basic information about our family. I wrote a letter to my someday Intended Parents (I'm going to call them IPs from here on out) and included photos of myself and our family. I'm not complaining- I'm glad that it's such a thorough process because if you have any doubts in your mind, you'll either face them or decide not to go through with your app.

After all of my info was submitted to the agency and they combed through it to make sure I am medically able to carry another baby to the best of their knowledge, we scheduled a trip to Madison to go meet the women who own the agency and chat with them, as well as complete a psychological evaluation to make sure we are both mentally stable enough to do this. All of the IPs go through a similar process, which I think is really cool. The meeting and psych eval are the last steps before entering the matching process.

Last week we finally got to go to Madison and it was amazing! We spent a few hours with the agency talking about our hopes for our IPs and boundaries/views on different things. The next day we spent about 5 hours with the agency's chosen psychologist (who is super cool, by the way) and talked about our childhoods, our current life, what we would/would not be willing to do for our IPs (give up caffeine if requested, abort a fetus with medical necessity, etc.). We also each took a 344 question personality test, whew. One of the women from the agency was kind enough to text me later that night to let me know that we both passed the test and the psychologist had no reservations about us moving forward, so we were officially cleared to enter matching!

And now, the hard part! Or the hard part for now, depending on how we're looking at this. I hate waiting and I'm dying to meet our IPs, so this seems like the hard part. But I'm sure months from now when I'm injecting myself with fertility meds, the wait won't seem so awful anymore. The agency will review the information I submitted and see if they have a good match for us with any of their IPs who are waiting to be matched with a surrogate. If they think there's a good match, they'll send me the profile that the IPs filled out, and if I agree on the match, they'll send my profile to the IPs. If the IPs agree, we will schedule a match meeting to meet in person and go over everything and (hopefully) declare it an official match!

I'll leave it at that for now and come back when there's more to share.

Post agency meeting, pre Madison breweries.