I've had some final thoughts since my last post- a wrap up of my surrogacy journey I guess!
I'm so fortunate that Zack and Kelly have kept in touch and sent pictures and updates of their family. It's so fun to see that little baby grow! I can't wait until the day we can safely see each other and spend some time together that does not involve being in the hospital.
It has now been a whole year (+ a few days) since the embryo transfer- wild. It doesn't seem possible- I told Kelly the other day that it feels like yesterday and also feels like years ago at the same time. The past year has been such a ride (for more reasons than just this journey, am I right?!) and I'm so grateful to have this experience as part of my story. The first time I thought of doing this a few years ago, I didn't know if it would ever become a reality; it just seemed like such a big thing, like a process that I didn't know how to start or who to turn to for help. I'm so glad that Kameron lets me run with some (not all, ha!) of the ideas I spout off, because this has truly been one of the coolest things I've experienced in my 31 years.
I hope that by sharing all of this, someone has had the thought to go on a big journey of their own- whether it's being a surrogate, making a big life change, adopting a dog (definitely this one), or taking that trip. I am always happy to share more if you (or your friend that I've never met!) have specific questions or want to go down this road yourself.
I'll wrap up with a few more questions I've gotten since the baby was born! Thanks for sharing all of this with me and allowing me to share it all with you! :)
Q: Does it make you sad to not be with the baby? Did you feel sad at the hospital or did it feel weird that you didn't get to have the baby with you?
A: No, no, and no. Enthusiastically, no! I have not felt an ounce of sadness about not having the baby with me at any point. She is not and never was my baby! This is the most common question I have gotten and I can't stress enough that I have no sad feelings regarding any of this whole process (except not being able to see them now because of Covid). When I think of the baby, I feel so happy because she is with her family and I know how much they love her. If you are considering becoming a surrogate and worried about this, please don't let this be what stops you from going forward.
Q: Did you have to pay for delivery/hospital bills?
A: Nope. None of this process was of any cost to me. Of course it depends on your agency and the contract between you and your IPs, but I do think this is common practice.
Q: How was everything set up at the hospital? Did the baby stay in your room? Where did the parents stay?
A: I had my own room, just like I had when I delivered my own babies. Zack and Kelly had a room as well where they and baby stayed. We all got to leave on the same day and could visit each other's rooms as often as we liked.
Q: Did the parents get to see their baby being born? Wasn't that weird? Did you feel awkward?
A: I covered this a little in my last post, but yes- Zack and Kelly were present in the OR when their baby was born. They held her, did skin to skin, cut the cord, etc. It wasn't weird- I wanted them there! They sat up by my head behind the drape that is used for c-sections. Also- I'm pretty sure that scene was nothing they hadn't seen before, if they looked ;) I tried to make it as not weird as I could, because I didn't want to take away from the special-ness of their baby being born!
Q: Did you get maternity leave? Did Kelly?
A: To be honest, I have no clue about my maternity leave. I work from home (even before Covid) and until recently worked part time and created my own schedule, so it has always been very flexible. I took the rest of the week off after birth and the following Monday as well. I'm sure I could have taken more time, but since I usually work from the couch anyway, it didn't seem necessary. Kelly did take maternity leave- as she deserved to!
Q: Will you be a surrogate again?
A: As much as I would like to, no. I'm at the limit for c-section deliveries that the people who make the rules allow. And to be clear, the people who make the rules are an advisory board that makes rules for surrogacy as a whole in this country, not just at my OB or in the state of MN. I would, however, do it again in a heartbeat- assuming I was allowed and could have as perfect of a match as Kelly and Zack :)
And, since someone told me once that a blog post isn't a real post without a photo, here's a completely unrelated picture of me and Briggs, the true reason why I am done having my own children, ha :)
