Wow I have a lot on my mind. I'll start with the bad stuff. Scott's nephew passed away on Friday. We weren't close or anything but it is kind of shocking. He was 23 I think, which just scares me. I feel really awkward about being around the family. I do not like being around sad people (not that anyone does), and I just don't know how to act. There is only so many times a person can hear variations of the phrase "sorry for your loss" and I don't want to push it. I am sorry but I just don't know what to say. And I do not not not want the memories of the last times I dealt with funerals to come back. I know that I'm being incredibly selfish but it hurts badly enough that I don't want to even think about it. I guess we will see what the next few days bring.

Okay done with the bad. On to the good.

I had a wedding dream last night. Not sure if that's good or bad but it was funny. I think it is so weird how I have been having these dreams, and even weirder what happens in them. This one was the actual wedding day, and I had put my dress on and then put on my bachelorette party dress over it, and then a sweater over that and I was going to take off the sweater and bach party dress at the altar. K and I made a number to put at each plate and we were doing that while the guests were arriving. I realized I forgot to send invitations but people were coming anyways, so I was happy. My grandpa was there too. I got a little bit sad after I realized that K had seen the bottom part of my dress before the wedding, but then I was so excited about the plate numbers that I forgot about it. And then I woke up. Where does that stuff come from?

This week was spring break (can next week be as well?) and it was soo wonderful. I relaxed and did wedding things with my mom for the first few days, and then went on a roadtrip to New Orleans with K and his parents. It was a lot of fun :) I honestly do wish that spring break could continue though, because from here on out I am basically booked solid until after the wedding. Between grad parties, VEISHEA, wedding stuff, and other random things, I honestly do not have a free weekend. Plus K and I need to make a trip to Colorado between now and the wedding. So I'm getting a little stressed. It will all be fun though.

This is the choppiest blog post ever. Anyways. My aunt is going to throw me a shower! I am really excited. My bridesmaid's dresses also came in. Also very exciting! It is thunderstorming right now, for the first time really since fall. I really don't love rain but I am glad because I think this means that there is a genuine chance that spring is actually here, which means summer is getting closer. And I love summer. Since I have been home, I have been trying to find new recipes to make for K and myself. Not having a lot of luck. I hate cooking at my apartment and his too. I can't wait until we have our own home where I will not hate cooking so much. I did find a lot of smoothies I want to try though, and I don't mind plugging in the blender at my apartment, so we may be going on a liquid diet until we have tried them all ;)

I have been thinking a lot lately about how fortunate I am to have met a guy like K and how even more fortunate I am that he actually loves me too :) Not to get all sappy or anything, but he does a lot for me that I don't think anyone else would. And he deals with me, which is saying a lot, ha. So K, if you ever read this by some stroke of weirdness, I love you very much and I am thankful for you every day.

Another thing I have been thinking about lately is high school. Maybe it's because I am about to graduate college, and that doesn't seem possible since I feel like I just graduated from Kennedy last week. I found my 2 best friends' xanga accounts a few days ago. Hilarious. It was so awesome to read because we were just weird and funny little people. Not little, but just inexperienced in life? I write that like I'm experienced now or something haha (I'm not really, just to clarify). I miss the way things used to be with us-we have definitely grown apart. I still love them the same.

Well. I think I am done spilling my thoughts for today.

xoxo e